Never Too Young

Becoming Real

I never really understood "The Velveteen Rabit" until I had children. I am so grateful for the lessons in patience, perseverance and love that they continue to teach me everyday. I'm so humbled that everyday my love for them teaches me how to be a better person. It makes me real. I wish that I could go back in time and see everything through these Mommy glasses that I wear now.

The Boss: The Poet And The Half-Time Show

When Bruce Springteen hit it big I was about ten years old. I didn't really care for him that much then. I thought he was just O.K. I was more into Madonna and Michael Jackson. It would be another ten years before I realized his true genius and still another 10+ before I grasped the irony of his music and performance.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the performance last night at the Super Bowl. I figured he would play "Glory Days" and "Born to Run" and really really hopeful that he would NOT play "Born in The USA". It is interesting that his big hits have very up-beat scores which very much belie their true meaning. "Born in the USA" is played at every patriotic event and political campaign. It is always amazing to me. Do people not listen to the lyrics of these songs?? It is the most anti-establishment song that there ever was. It is basically a protest of "the system". Bruce must just laugh everytime he hears that song played...all the way to the bank.

"Glory Days" although seemingly perfect on the surface for a sporting event, is also a perfect example of his cynical nature. It is a SAD song. It is about people who think that their best is behind them and have lost hope and a purpose. "But it's got a good beat and I can dance to it."

And finally "Born to Run" which along with "Thunder Road" are my favorites. My favorite lyrics:

Baby this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, its a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young
`cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run

This song is so beautiful and can be interpreted in so many different ways but basically to me it is about someone yearning to break with tradition and familiarity whose dream takes a detour. I won't patronize the Boss by trying to pick this apart anymore and I won't even attempt "Thunder Road" since this song is so painfully exquisite.

I can't help thinking that Bruce Springsteen is a genius in more ways than one. I would like to do a study to find out how many people at the Super Bowl last night could actually recite any of the lyrics to these songs besides the choruses. Maybe everyone is aware of this man's dual nature or maybe they were just like me at ten years old and saw a very macho looking guy mumbling lyrics and putting on a very high energy show. I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that he is one of the few artists who has managed to make millions off of pure poetry and then make it look like fluff. Maybe that is why he mumbles.

Hypocricy and History

I don't want to be negative during this historic time. I am glad that Obama is our president mostly because of his optimism. I admire the way he looks at the world and helps people to understand that we have been through rougher times. We have been split between North and South, suffered race riots and a Great Depression. We are experiencing tough times but we have had it worse. I think that his ability to get a message accross is something that we have been sorely lacking for the past 8 years. We have needed a leader who can communicate not only with world leaders but with the American public.

However I had one of those moments this weekend where I started to think...Am I the only one thinking this? I am conflicted. On one hand I want to celebrate with the world that this man has been elected and that we have come full circle and done what seemed unimaginable only two years ago. We have elected an African American president. A country that not too many generations ago built it's fortune on the slave labor of that same race. This is incredible. I want to celebrate it. But I don't want to pay for it. I have been blown away by how elaborate this celebration is and that nobody has even batted an eyelash over the cost and wondered if maybe this is inappropriate considering our current situation as a union.

So I did a little research to see if I could come up with some numbers. Maybe it is not as costly as it seems. However it was hard to come up with any actual articles from regular news sources. Most of what I gathered came from other blogs. But from what I gather Obama's inauguration will cost about as much as Bush's second inauguration. About 40-50 million dollars.

One problem I have is that there is not any reliable information reporting this sort of thing. Isn't this important? Who is paying for this? Am I? Is it from private sources, fundraising? I am ignorant. But not blissfully so.

I don't know about you but when I was a teenager and was sick on a Friday during school, I didn't get to go to the football game or the homecoming dance that weekend. We are a sick country, bleeding money, hemorrhaging, feverish. We shouldn't have gone to the ball in 2005 and we definately shouldn't be now.

I am hoping to put aside my cynical nature and enjoy this historic time. It isn't really fair that Obama should not be able to have a celebration for this amazing achievement. I just don't think it is fair that the same press that chided Bush for his extravagance in 2005 and lambasted our financial institutions for having Christmas parties on our dime in 2008 has not expressed one bit of concern about the lavishness of this event.

I am trying to resurect my hopefulness and not be such a curmudgeon. However I am concerned that we are so enamored by our date to homecoming that we will feign health in order to go to the dance.

Growing Up Getting Wise

Today as Adam was getting very sleepy, snug in his bed he says, "I love you Mommy". Heart melts everytime. I tell him I love him too of course. Then he says, "Sometimes you shout at me when you're angry" Knife to melted heart!! I had already apologized to him for yelling at him earlier in the day. I have been so short tempered lately. I have not been sleeping enough and the fighting between the boys is driving me NUTS!!

My heart breaks when we end the day like this but as he drifted off to sleep I tried to explain that eventhough we get mad at eachother it doesn't mean that we don't love eachother. Hard lesson to learn that sometimes I feel like I am still learning. Part of parenting is wearing your heart on your sleeve, hoping your child treads easy on it and keeping your reactivity from ripping everything apart.

Funny Boy

After telling Robert a lame joke and having to explain it to him and say, "It was a joke", Adam (3 and a half) peeps up from the back seat, "Mom, it's only a joke if everyone else is laughing." Thanks Adam!

Big Boys

Just a little boring update on what the kiddos are doing these days. Seems to change daily. Tristan is now speaking in BIG sentances. His record is 5 words, "I want some of that"!! My other favorite was at the hospital, "I not sick anymore"!! I think if he could have said, "Now that will be all, please kindly stop poking and prodding me you #$%#!!" he would have. He has also been pointing to the ear with drainage and telling me that it hurts. It melts me. So very sad.

We are really going to have to move Tristan to a toddler bed soon. We bought that crib four years ago and now have no clue how to convert it!! He is trying to crawl out of his crib. If he were really angry and wanting to get out I know he could get out.

Tristan was a mess at daycare this morning. He could not be distracted for me to leave. Was really working the manipulation overtime. Before that he was really excited to go to school. Hopefully he is doing o.k. today.

Adam is really amazing and incredibly difficult at the same time. When we are just one on one he is an absolute dream and is really pensive and thoughtful. He is coming up with a lot of big boy thoughts and is really a complex guy. But put him together with Tristan and he becomes a NUT! I think part of it is that since Tristan has been potty training he is getting more than his fair share of attention. Adam is constantly trying to come up with something to do that can top "pee pee in the potty"!! So hopefully this will start to equalize. He is also growing so TALL. All arms and legs and so georgeous.

Adam loved watching the "Georgia Bulldogs" with me yesterday. He thinks that any football team is the Georgia Bulldogs.

This is yet another random association of thoughts. More like reading my diary. Just wanted to get it all down before it slips away.